The Bestest Blog in the Whole World!

for the homies

2011-05-02T21:49:00.002-04:00

I've been on a little bit of tear as of late, turning out plays left and right. My new subject of choice has been Flint, that ol' stomping ground of mine. After years of being very non-specific about time and place, I decided to try being more explicit to see where it would lead me. My teacher, the rambunctious Edward Allan Baker, has encouraged me to do so, not only because of the many fictional possibilities, but also because it may (or may not) shine a spotlight on a place that is quickly submitting to forgottenness.

Well, here's to hopin' anyway.

SMW

Bye, Borders

2011-02-17T01:21:00.001-05:00

Kips Bay Borders is closing. For good. In six weeks, nothing. Borders is filing for bankruptcy and this is the result. Park Ave, Wall St, Kips Bay. Not sure how I should feel about it. I dreaded the place, I hid myself so well from it, I told myself that I didn't belong there, but for six years, it was all I had to keep me going as I searched for better things. I have stacks of memories that belong to it, I have friends and loves that I made there. I never really believed it would ever go away. No matter what steps I took away from it, I somehow guessed that it would always be a place I could revisit, if only to laugh at how I no longer had to deal with it. But even still, I would rather it have outlived me, be there, always around, this little franchise store that pretended to be a friendly neighborhood store, that I spent so much energy making go.

Yes, it is sad, that's what it is. And I will miss it, because it is a part of me, good or bad, still a part of me.

Thank you Kips Bay. For giving me a job, for giving me money, for giving me friends, for giving me memories. I will be the saddest ex-employee you ever had.

SMW, peace out.

PS: Say this to those you are closest to: "Don't leave. I still need you."

I'm busy, and so are you.

2011-01-18T01:32:00.002-05:00

The never seen before BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND has gone through a serious revision. Which shouldn't mean anything to you, since you've never seen it. Just in a sharing mood.

new old stuff

2011-01-08T00:57:00.001-05:00

There is a revamped version of CORNMEAL in the world now.

Currently looking for the next one to work on. Kinda fun revisiting the old work. It's true when they say nothing is ever done.

keeping that ball rolling...

2011-01-04T22:34:00.002-05:00

I don't do this often enough.

So, I'm on my Christmas break, which involves a lot of sitting around, wondering what I could be doing with all this time on my hands before the next semester starts. Right now, I've decided to delve into older works and see if there's anything I can do to make them better.

BOISE, IDAHO is not on this list, in case you were wondering. I'm pretty good with how it is.

I just gave a makeover to NO ONE EVER DIES IN MONTANA, originally produced by the Thunder and Lightning Ensemble some years back. Right now, I'm taking a gander at CORNMEAL.

It's not that I'm not happy with these works, but I think where I am right now gives me a better perspective. There's always room for improvement, after all.

If you'd like to be bold enough to suggest me taking a look at something from my past, feel free to hit me up. You know where I am.

SMW

ahem... and ahem

2010-02-21T22:03:00.002-05:00

As it turns out, since I've joined the Actors Studio program, I've managed to write 25 plays, which now marks the most prolific I've been for quite some time, at least in the arena of playwriting. As this as happened, I feel very much as far from disappointment as i could possibly be. It's nice to be able to have a run like this, where I once upon a time, felt as if I had no more good ideas to float out into the world.

Meanwhile, BOISE, IDAHO is getting not one but two New York productions. God bless that little ditty for having such a long shelf life.

dum dee dum dum dum

2009-09-30T20:04:00.002-04:00

Ever since I've started my grad school education, I've found out two things about myself.

1. I really enjoy being in the world of academia.

2. I obviously can't even to pretend that the physical pain I am in doesn't hurt as much as it actually does due to the movement class I am taking.

Despite this, I am back to writing again. I hadn't written a play (save The Pear Danube piece) for a year, and now I get to indulge once again. Now, none of this work can actually be performed until I graduate, but I see no reason that I can't list them for you.

1. All Blood, No Bone
2. Five Princes
3. Flies About
4. No Need to go on
5. Stuckey and Doon
6. I Slip, You Fall
7. Very Sad Clowns

Not bad for a month. They are all one-acts, which will serve me well for the festival circuit, and I am quite pleased with the results. I hope one day, three years from now, you are too.

kudos

2009-04-04T08:08:00.002-04:00

It was a busy few weeks for my work, as first FCT did a grouping of my shows (and attempted to photoshop me straight to Hell), which, from what I understand was a hit. Wish I could have seen them, but I'm glad that old dear friends were able to do my stuff once again. And no one beats the hometown crowd. The line-up was Charleston's Finger, Don't Talk to the Anthropologist, Dirtection, The Last Adventure of Lance Adventure, and... what else? Boise, Idaho.

Boise also played here in NYC, thanks to Molly Braverman, along with the priemeres of both Dancing the Elastic Spoon (the unfortunately abandoned Jason Hurley project, sorry bro) and An Unexpected Connection. This was in support of the Peter Pan Children's Fund, which marks the first time I have in anyway, whether directly or indirectly, I've provided any assistence to children. Thanks to the cast and crew for an enjoyable evening.

Five months until grad school.

2008-07-26T02:16:00.001-04:00

I believe my last post was about the birth of Pear Danube, The Novel! So this post shall be the announcement of a second novel, concerning that very same rapscallion. But don't worry. My intention is clear. Find a home for the first book first, then follow up with a second, and begin considering a third.

Busy, busy, busy.

Cross your fingers, for when I am done with the editing process of the first, I will dispatch it post haste to see how it flies. And let me be clear on this, this will be the only way for people to be able to read it, which I find most important to consider. Yeah, think about it.

Peace and good will,
Sean

Pear Danube?

2008-06-11T00:18:00.003-04:00

As of three days ago, I have finished the initial saga of Pear Danube. Right now I am dusting it off.

I think I can say that... I'm pretty happy with the outcome. I feel I have told a story that will live on as possibly the silliest thing I have ever written. Now, what comes next? Fame, fortune?

Probably not. But it's enough for me to think that I have written something that if nothing else, gives me something to be proud of. And what can ever be better than that?

Pear Danube lives. And I am happy to just be able to supply the mode of adventure.

Pear is my hero. A man who trods on, nearly getting there. But he doesn't give up, even if he falls short.

Any of you still hanging on to this blog may volunteer to read. I won't post it on my website. I offer it to people who will give me an honest opinion. Drop me a line and I'll throw you a hard copy. It would be good for people to give me a fair judgment. Yea or nay, I'm asking for your thoughts. Should good Pear Danube live on? Let the masses decide.

As a bonus, I can actually gage from this how many people are still keeping up with me. Nothing wrong with that.

S to the M to the double ME

The return of Pear Danube

2008-06-01T03:34:00.002-04:00

Sort of.

This is not to say that anyone has optioned the screenplay known as "Well Done, Pear Danube!" This is me saying that I found a need to revisit my beloved (inclusive) character once more.

As of a few days ago, I have endeavored upon treating Pear Danube as not just a character whose infamy lives only within ninety minutes of celluloid. But rather a character that could live further in even more adventures.

Let's face facts. No one is doing period pieces right now. Much less period pieces that mercilessly poke fun at period pieces. Therefore, nothing stops me from introducing Pear Danube as a character that cannot only be ignored by film studios, but also one that can be ignored by publishing houses.

Seriously, that's my thinking on this.

I am currently forty-seven pages into "Good Show, Pear Danube!" in which I relate the early years of my beloved (inclusive) character, following his path from lowly tax attorney into the vigilante who steals the clothes of the rich and gives them to the poor, to wear or to sell food. From what I can tell, it is not only an exciting read, but a ridiculously stupid one as well.

If I feel as happy as I am beginning it as I am in finishing it (stay tuned), then I might consent to turn this into a whole series that no one will consent to publish.

I say, it's about time that I devoted myself to something that may never see the light of day beyond my computer screen. Just to write something that allows me to find enjoyment again. That's something right there. Can't put a price on that feeling.

GOOD SHOW, PEAR DANUBE! Hitting book stores... when there is some sort of follow-up.

The Actors Shakespeare Company

2008-05-15T00:59:00.002-04:00

I'd like to take the opportunity to thank the Actors Shakespeare Company for a fine reading of POMPEY. And to Mr. Esau Pritchett for coming to assist us. I only wish I could have spent a bit more time with you and the good thing you have going there. It was a pleasure to work with you, and I hope that I have other opportunities to conspire with you.

In other news, after this successful reading, I came home to find that Ohio University has turned me down. Couldn't just let me enjoy the night fully, could you, OU?

But then, life is like that.

I shall be briefeth

2008-05-11T05:01:00.002-04:00

If you want to attend a staged reading of the the Play POMPEY by the me that is Sean Michael Welch, please visit this site:

http://www.ascnj.org/home.html

Just remember, you can't spell Sean Michael Welch without "me," or else... it becomes... San ichal wlch. That is, if you are repeating letters. So you would be spelling, "Meee," if it came to that.

Esau Pritchett is involved, if I hadn't mentioned before. That's for the Michigan peeps.

for those of you keeping score...

2008-03-08T04:22:00.001-05:00

Most humble friends,

Your come-lately playwright has been rejected entry into the fine program at Yale.

Eh. What are you gonna do?

I still think I am worthy of a grad program, and helping my career in this way, but if it wasn't meant to be, then who am I to argue with the powers-that-be?

Who is next? The University of Iowa? Ohio University? UNLV?

Stay tuned.

Hark! Yea! Bodkin!

2008-02-29T00:42:00.002-05:00

According to fellow "is this Theatre company thing going to happen or not?" cohort Colin Ryan, the American Shakespeare Company from that fabled land of New Jersey, has consented to do a staged reading of POMPEY for your listening pleasure. It will happen in May, so please stay tuned for details.

new pics

2007-11-16T13:05:00.000-05:00

I've posted pictures of RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS on my site. Feel free to peruse.

Yale - exuent

2007-11-11T02:19:00.000-05:00

For those of you who read the review for RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS, the phrase "It's my Bloody Play in a Box" is derived from a sketch from Saturday Night Live. I don't have TV so someone had to explain it to me.

One more show come and gone. Let me just say that it was a pleasure to be able to see it and to meet with the people who made it all possible. Thank you Dave, Aaron, Alex, Susan, Anya, Danielle, Mike and everyone one else who made it all work. To be able to pull of a show of mine, possibly one of the most difficult I've ever written, in a two and a half week period is a testament to your abilities. I won't forget this one for a long time, nor will I ever be able to hear the phrase "what are you doing?" again without smiling... or tensing up.

Rise Up... the Yale review

2007-11-10T18:03:00.000-05:00

new stuff

2007-10-27T12:52:00.000-04:00

There are two new plays available on the See For Yourself! page of my site. WHISTLE and HANGING FROM THE ROPE.

Symbolism! Brilliant!

2007-10-24T21:21:00.000-04:00

I'm to the point where I am deliberately placing obvious symbols in my plays. I'm also to the point where I have written nine plays so far this year. So... pretty good year. Although, with this strange new direction, I am apparently trying like the dickens to write plays that can only be performed on stage, going along with my whole idea that the theatre should be the theatre and exploit things theatrical instead of attempting to compete with other mediums.

As irony would have it, I'm currently (and again) watching the filmed versions of Samuel Beckett's plays. Which is great since you don't often get to see them, but... dude, it's been filmed, so it takes you away from the stage environment. And despite the arguments, Beckett would not have approved.

There are two plays I have written that do not appear on my site. One is because I need to rework the ending. The second is of a personal nature, and I will probably have to seek permission of a certain ex of mine before putting it out there.

Also, I'm probably going to start deleting chunks of my blog. I feel as if I'm talking too much, and have so in the past. I don't necessarily feel as if I need a record of my rises and falls, so it really does no good to keep them around. I have a right to some mystery.

upcoming performance

2007-10-24T04:35:00.000-04:00

In just two short weeks, RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS will be premiered at the Yale Cabaret. So, if you want to see something other than BOISE, IDAHO, feel free to come on out.

So it goes

2007-10-20T01:38:00.000-04:00

I knew this would happen.

After writing a few pieces, there is at last the drive to do more. Unfortunately, at present time, I have run out of subjects. I even tried to bolster my internal resources by picking up literature about the theatre, something I haven't done in a long time. That doesn't seem to be helping. With a lack of people discussing them in a classroom setting, I find it difficult to gain any true inspiration. As anti-social as I am, comfortable in my little pocket of New York, it just figures that one day I would actually crave that kind of conversation.

I read an old play of mine last night, THE HERRINGBONE MAN. I had recently described it in loving terms to a friend of mine who was interested in reading it, and has recently discovered theatre for herself. After reading it, however, I probably shouldn't have started her out with that one. I found it to be reaching for heights of ridiculousness without actually being able to pull it off with a semblance of a storyline. Not that that's a bad thing, I'm in favor of absurdity and extremity and lack of plot, but wow. I was really pushing hard with this one, possibly in love with the concept more than the story I was trying to tell.

To put it in historical context, I wrote this play in 2000, a year in which I wrote 22 plays. That would be the year I wrote the most plays. The next year I wrote 15. Then I calmed down somewhat, and started turning out maybe between 2 and 5 a year. I think in 2000-01, I snapped something.

Anyway, 2000 was also the year I wrote BOISE, IDAHO, SLAB, FLESK, THE STRAIGHT POOP, and the second EARL THE VAMPIRE play, which has never been performed. I remember liking this play very much after writing it, and liking it several years later, but now... not so much. Too many characters, too many strange plot twists, and the ending even tries to make sense of it all by explaining itself in a broken fourth wall kind of way. There are parts of it that I absolutely am in love with, but as a whole, I seem to have been pushing myself too much. Hence, 22 plays in a year's time.

What to do? Rewrite it with the sensibilities that I have now acquired, which are ever-changing? Or does it fall to the fate of the three SPIRIT BABES plays I wrote, which do not appear on my list, because even though they are finished works, they were in direct opposition with how I began to write in 1998. Besides, the second in this cycle may be lost forever, trapped in a laptop that I can no longer access. In reality, I written 86 plays, I suppose. It's so hard to keep track.

Now, here's the rub. I am notorious for writing a play, then doing some edits if I feel it's necessary, then leaving it alone. Whether or not it is ever performed is of no real concern to me. I'm done with it, it's time to move on to something else. And that may mean that THE HERRINGBONE MAN, despite all of its good points of being both funny and horrific, may just fall by the wayside and become more of a statistic on my resume, than an actual to-be-performed piece.

Maybe I'll just try to write it from scratch, just to see how I would approach it this time. The original impetus was the Jon Benet thing, but maybe I could eek something out from a different perspective.

You see? This is how starved I am to engage in conversation about theatre and work. I'm having a one-way with my blog. If you will excuse me now, I'm going to crawl back into my darkened corner and wait for Netflix to arrive with my Beckett DVD's. Got five plays out of that viewing. It's worth another shot, perhaps.

Auf Wiedersehn, Herr Turner. Danke.

2007-10-19T01:05:00.000-04:00

This morning I received an email from David Turner, my friend in Germany who has been my go to guy as far as getting my plays done in Germany. Unfortunately, this email announced David's own passing by David himself.

I admit having to read it a few times before understanding that this wasn't a joke. He must have anticipated his passing and written a farewell letter to friends.

My last actual communications with David were discussing the closing of his theatre, an unfortunate effect of the army base it was surrounded by closing down. I was sad to see it go, but was always hoping that somewhere down the road we would have the opportunity to work together again.

I was lucky enough to meet David face-to-face once in Germany during a production of "Don't Talk to the Anthropologist." I believe he had altogether done five of my pieces, and even premiered "The Straight Poop" for me. David was a very kind man, very positive, instantly likable, and I gained a great amount of respect for him in a very short time. He was always open to reading material and was excited to be able to put them on. I feel privileged that I was able to meet with him, and am saddened because we will never be able to again.

David loved theatre. There seemed to be nothing else he would rather be doing with his time. How many people are lucky enough to say that?

He made it possible for my parents to see work of mine. That was key to me. In some twist of fate, David found me while living in Germany, and it had nothing to do with my parents, living in Germany as well. My parents just got to enjoy the result.

I have much to be grateful for in having known David. I hoped he considered me a friend even with our short time in knowing each other.

Thank you, David. You will be missed.

as if...

2007-10-06T04:41:00.001-04:00

Just wrote another play. It matches my mood. This one is called HANGING FROM THE ROPE. Very old school. We just have to wait to see what Rob says, then I will consider throwing it up on the site.

See? I won't stop writing.

wait, wait, wait--what?

2007-10-01T12:26:00.000-04:00

Again, I cannot stress enough how things conspire to keep me in place.

Dave Roberts, director of the New York premiere of SLAB, just called me with news. The Yale Cabaret has accepted his proposal to do RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS next month. So... another show.

Details to come.

ad amendum... dumdum

2007-10-01T00:13:00.001-04:00

After posting the last one (and only Michiganders may care), I spotted my guestbook signed by none other than miss Alexa Marsh, the only woman who I ever did a scene from BURN THIS with. Because... well Todd's a dude. He don't count. And I have no idea what ever happened to him.

yeah... life's like that...

2007-09-30T23:51:00.000-04:00

To give you a helpful... summary of what life is like for me right now, I offer a real life account of what has occurred in the last few days.

1. In the midst of trying to decide what I should really be doing with my life, I come to the conclusion that being a struggling artist is just not the road I want to travel down anymore. Living as a 36 year old in the style of a 23 year old has lost some of the romanticism it once had, and has made me think that if it ain't happened yet, it ain't gonna. So, like always, I wait for a sign.

2. Out of the blue, Greg Nicolai, dear friend and possibly the best director you've never heard of calls me up and sees where I am coming from. He speaks highly of the theatrical movement in Flint and how it wouldn't be such a bad thing for me to give up on big city dreams and come back home. Let's call it artistic capability versus artistic ambition. Artistic ambition being the only thing that has kept me in New York.

3. That VERY SAME NIGHT, old cohort Ryan Blackwell and Director Dan call me up to join them at a bar. Ryan has been out of the country doing some road riles thing that ended up in Mongolia, and as consequence, I pretty much gave up on the idea of giving getting this theatre company off the ground. But he's back and once again trying to convince me that there is no reason to give up. I'm still talented enough to give it a go, and eventually it will pay off, so long as I get off my ass and put myself out there.

4. By the way, my girlfriend lives in Boston.

This is the problem with crossroads. From what I've understood of them, there is one of two choices, and both are pretty clear cut as to what needs happen. Thing is, whenever the slightest inkling of me sneaking back to Flint comes into play, in all it's bright, shiny openness to welcome me back, almost instantaneously, a counter-offer occurs. Frankly, it's starting to become bothersome. If you believe these two things happening on the same day are sheer coincidence, think again. Every single time I've thought that the best thing for me was to move back to Michigan, a single intrusive voice pops up and retards my judgment. What is this uberpresence that keeps me from returning home? Is it punishment for vanity?

I don't know. I would really like to have a normal life. I would like to settle down and be with a girl that lives in Boston. But there are too many directions, and no one is stepping forward with a definitive voice and saying outright what I should be doing. It's not unlike having someone tell you what college you should attend... which I already muffed on, so very long ago.

Feel free to take a poll on what Sean should do with his life. Or think of it as a Choose Your Own Adventure. Lord knows I have.

back to work

2007-08-27T02:46:00.001-04:00

Hello, me lovelies. Sorry to be so absent, but I have been trying to ween myself off writing so much.

That being said, I am writing a new play. HA! He just couldn't help himself, could he?

Here's the story of a one-armed king who starts a war and the servant who serves him.

And that's all I'm saying.

I'm in a Becketty mood right now, simply because I don't think much theatre out there is as theatrical as it could be. Too much Sex in the City, not enough Pinter.

Yes, I'm still burning about the Sex in the City musical. I may have to write a musical about the show Friends to curb this deep animosity.

Your friend and mine,
SMW

my thing, man

2007-06-12T22:02:00.001-04:00

I'm not sure what inspired me to do such a thing, but I have, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. After writing two screenplays and sending off a query letter to an agent concerning "The Mighty Oliver," I thought I could relax and take a break for awhile.

But noooooooooooo.

So, now I am embarking on a project called "Da Da Da" which is a series of short stories. And when I say short, I mean... like a page at most. Little snippets of ridiculousness I think best describes them. Akin to Sir Pepin in length, I suppose, except all the stories are separate entities. I'm always looking for new ways to approach fiction, because frankly I think it isn't done enough, and when it is done, it's done badly, exceptions made for David Foster Wallace, of course. And like anything experimental, I have no idea if it's good or not. So, what I'll go ahead and do is throw the story that started it all up on my homepage and let you judge for yourselves. Let's run this thing up the flagpole and see if anyone... realizes that it's not actually a flag.

What up?

2007-06-02T22:18:00.000-04:00

I have completed another screenplay because someone asked me to write one last week. Wow. if I were actually a sought after writer, my prolificicism (not a real word) would be legendary. Like James Patterson's ghost writer's legendary prolificisimism (also not a real word). Right?

However, due to content, I cannot share this work with any of you.

But why? is it porn?

Heavens, no.

However, he has asked me to write a screenplay which at its core speaks frequently and liberally about a certain... oh, let's "company." Which, to me, smacks of commercialism. No, it's not a franchised burger joint, get your mind out of the gutter. And although this "company," still feels fringe, or rather, fringish (really? That's not a word?) I cannot say for certain whether or not it feels as if I am pleasuring the Devil as of yet. I mean, I wrote the thing and I included many, many references to this pop-culture phenomenon, but there is nothing in it to suggest that I wrote it solely in the vein of extreme marketability. But even so, the prickly little purity of mineself regards it as something I should be wary of, which is why it was written under a pseudonym. Which makes me a sell-out but with a different name. Oh, such a moral dilemma I find myself in!

But I wrote it and was happy with the story. And in the end, no matter the consequences, the writer has to at the very least like the story he or she has written. So, I fulfilled my end of the bargain, as far as I'm concerned. So all the nay-sayers can go to (omitted for copyright purposes).

what is he doing exactly?

2007-05-15T20:44:00.000-04:00

What is he doing? Well, he's written a new screenplay. Not bad for someone who isn't actually getting movies produced. This one is called MAN OF GOD, and it features cowboys, vampires, and organisms that reproduce at an alarming rate. And while Hollywood generally accepts two genres being spliced together, I can't say for certain that my crossing of three genres will go over so well. But I can say for certain that I am pleased with the results.

MAN OF GOD, not coming soon to a theatre near you.

by the by...

2007-04-22T22:23:00.000-04:00

Rob has finally put "The Very Short Adventures of Sir Pepin Heroick" upon yonder website. It is all contained on one page, but you can shuffle about as you will, chapter by chapter, if thou wouldst.

Tell a friend.

A very good very bad play

2007-04-21T00:40:00.000-04:00

I have just returned from the performance of a play I wrote last night, as part of Tip My Cup's Quickie's Festival, and have good things to report. An excellent cast, a smart director, and an audience that ate it up. They are to be commended for their efforts.

I know that I didn't throw out an email blast for this one, but honestly, I knew that first of all, it would be a small venue, and two of all, I wasn't sure what I would be able to pump out. However... I probably should have trusted myself a bit more and sent out some invites. But you probably wouldn't have been able to get in anyway. There was a waiting list. And a two drink minimum.

Well, Rob showed up. So that was good.

My thanks to Tip My Cup and to my actors and director. They done good by me.

I'll have Rob hoist up this piece for mass consumption shortly. It's a keeper.

How is that for timing?

2007-04-17T19:34:00.000-04:00

Soooooo... a couple of days ago I started writing a new play, as I was feeling invigorated by the POMPEY experience. Very early on there is mention of a character gunning down fellow students at school.

Flash forward to Virginia Tech.

Just so we're all very clear on the subject, I was not inspired by the events at VT.

Apparently the gunman was also a playwright. He wrote profane plays about pedophilia and attacking people with chainsaws. And he also had a beef with "rich kids." One student blogged (how referring to blogs has suddenly become newsworthy, I have no idea) that "Looking back, he fit the exact stereotype of what one would typically think of as a 'school shooter' -- a loner, obsessed with violence, and serious personal problems."

Well, we now have a stereotype for a school shooter. Now we know what to look for. Watch out for those loners, kids. They're bad news.

Speaking for the loner class, while I may have hated life at one point (high school), kept to myself, and listened to a lot of Slayer, and in my later years, written plays about cannibalism, killing people with axes, vampires, slaughtered chihuahuas, appendages inexplicably falling off, organ theft, gynecological exams, euthanasia, strangulation, infanticide, stuffing human flesh into a jar, revolution, turning dogs into pillows, alcoholism, fascism, killing cats, incest, Satan, bestiality, the end of life as we know it, guns, Caligula, pimps, exorcisms, authority figures becoming homicidal... and so on... not ONCE did it ever occur to me to grab my father's gun and start whacking people who made me mad. Perhaps that means that I don't meet the stereotype, but, as the record shows, I'm pretty bloody insistent on following my own path. But more than that, I find it extremely offensive that there is now a stereotype for school shooters, filled with adjectives that apply somewhat to myself (thanks, Columbine). And this wasn't even the opinion of a news reporter, rather the musings of a blogger as quoted by a news reporter.

Did my father have a gun in the house. Of course. He's army. Did I go near it? Nope. Because I knew better. If there was any sense of abuse in my head, it was directed at myself and no one else.

Even now people see me in my black trenchcoat and joke with me that it is either my "Columbine" jacket or my "pedophile" jacket. Couple that with longer than normal hair, and apparently I am resembling something close to the mark. The words "serial killer" have even been tossed about, but that must be a Manson reference, because Ted Bundy looked nothing like me...

So, I guess the stereotype is that the black clad loners are school shooters, and the clean cut conservatives are serial killers who prefer strangulation, cannibalism, and large knives. And if that's the case, there are A LOT more serial killers out there than school shooters.

Has anyone checked out the background of this blogger, by the way? We may need a minority report on him.

Oh, and as a bonus, a spokesman for People Who Like Guns and Like People to Have Guns said something about how this would have never happened if the students at VT were allowed to carry fire arms. That was their take on the subject. The school shooter has a gun? Well, so do the intended victims! Let the bullets of personal responsibility fly! Because if everyone had a gun, then no one would use them! Brilliant. A return to Deadwood. Obviously Old West mentality works like a charm.

Now, I am not offering a suggestion as how this could have been prevented. Obviously the kid had access to a gun. Maybe it was his father's gun. Maybe he bought it on the street. If it hadn't been a gun, maybe it would have been a homemade bomb, or something as simple as a flamethrower, perhaps something clever like a poisonous gas conjured up in science class. All I know is that in a culture that idolizes violence, shouldn't the end result be somewhat expected? I know what you're thinking... hey films in Japan? They are way more hardcore than ours, and they don't have nearly the amount of senseless violence that we enjoy. Well, maybe that's what we're missing. I have a feeling that in Japan that the hyperviolence is truly escapism and not made out to be a instruction book. That may be a fault of our culture, but I'm not here to delve into that, because that will take all night, and I have a play to write.

My original point was to point out that we have enough stereotypes to deal with that color our deep-seeded horrors of the "what if?" variety. All this mentioned article serves to do is to view the loner character as a mistrustful, gun-wielding psycho, and not as someone better than that.

Joke with me if you will about my appearance and mannerisms, my friends. But don't be surprised if I hit back with a Ted Bundy joke or, for my female friends, a little nip about killing your child by driving your car into a river.

I'm going to listen to some Slayer now.

POMPEY unsheathed!

2007-04-16T06:42:00.000-04:00

For those of you who were waiting, the finally final draft of POMPEY is now available for viewing on the site.

Oh, my excellent friends.

2007-04-08T23:05:00.000-04:00

I'm am returned from Michigan, having spent a great week with seeing old friends and meeting new ones. The premiere of POMPEY is over and I miss it already. Thanks to everyone who made it possible. It meant a lot to me to have my work performed on my old stage.

And to my old friends, who were either in Flint and drove in from out of town to see it, it was wonderful to see you all again, and it broke my heart to leave you again.

POMPEY: The Press Release

2007-03-20T22:12:00.001-04:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Department of Theatre and Dance

University of Michigan - Flint

303 E. Kearsley St.

Flint, MI 48502

Box Office: (810) 237-6520

UM-Flint to Stage POMPEY

The University of Michigan - Flint Department of Theatre and Dance will stage the premiere of POMPEY, a new play based on Measure for Measure by UM-Flint alumnus Sean Michael Welch (Flint author of the award-winning play, Earl the Vampire) and William Shakespeare.

Directed by Janet Haley (Flushing), UM-Flint alumna.

An eye for an eye, a trick for a trick....never underestimate the power of a pimp.

Shakespeare's minor character Pompey the pimp, intervenes in the plot of Measure for Measure, and ends up as an unconventional hero as he takes the fight for freedom and justice into his own hands.

This comic and thought-provoking production contains mature content and sexual situations (intended for audiences ages 16 and up).

CAST INCLUDES: Bret Beaudry (Fenton) as Pompey, Josh Carrizales (Flint) as Mistress Overdone, Jason Briggs (Grand Blanc) as the Duke, Don Hillaker (Flint) as Officer Elbow, Kody C. Jones (Clio) as Claudio and Jennifer Amble (Davison) as Isabella. Also features the talents of UM-Flint dance students Justine Burks (Flint), Ashley Mikulenas (Fenton), and Vanessa Napolitan (Grand Blanc).

Scenic Design by Stephen D. Landon, Costume Design by Seunghye Cho, and Lighting Design by Doug Mueller.

PERFORMANCE DATES: UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN-FLINT THEATRE

Friday March 30, Saturday March 31 and Thursday April 5, Friday April 6 and Saturday April 7 at 8:00pm.

One Sunday matinee, April 1st at 2:00 features a post-show talk-back with the playwright, Sean Michael Welch.

For tickets, directions to the theatre, and other information please call 810.237.6520.

UM-Flint Department of Theatre and Dance website at: http://www.umflint.edu/departments/theater-dance/

Forsooth! Mine bodkin!

2007-03-19T21:15:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm pretty sure that means nothing. And if it did, my bodkin is none of your business anyway.

In the midst of reading one of my new favorite authors, Italo Calvino, I became inspired and wrote a short story. And since the good people at freewebs have granted me additional pages, I see no reason to hoist it up and see who salutes, if that could at all be considered the proper metaphor.

I have created a new link entitled Storytime! which I hope to keep busy with new works here and there. For those who don't wish to wade through my ever-growing website, the link has been provided at the mere mention of a mouse. Or a click. Whatever works.

I apologize to those of you who have been waiting for the Good Sir Pepin stories to appear, but Shaolin Webmaster Rob has been a bit busy and hasn't had the proper time to put them all up.

In other news, good ol' U of M Flintown is experiencing what we in the business like to refer to as "tech week"for POMPEY. In but ten days I will be home and watching how this thing actually plays on stage. Ah, Flint, the only place where I am considered somewhat, in a superficial kind of way, a celebrity of sorts. I shall bask in the warm glow of a Torch Burger and see old friends to boot, and in some cases, the offspring they have wrought, who apparently are already looking at colleges.

No place like home.

The final results are in...

2007-03-04T20:00:00.000-05:00

... I think.

After a rigorous editing process in order to get POMPEY down to a suitable viewing time for a U of M audience, it appears that we have finally reached a good place. Starting tomorrow, the cast and crew of POMPEY will have the final draft to work with.

I don't think I can ever fully express my gratitude to my old theatre department for giving me this opportunity. Being able to showcase a play for the first time in the place where I got my start... there are just no words for it. I would call this a highpoint.

Now, if I could just prepare myself for the cutting remarks of Shakespeare purists and people bringing Stoppard up to me, then all should be well. But then, I trust Carolyn, Lauren, and Janet implicitly. If they didn't think it was worth the time and effort, then it would have never come up in the first place.

Break many legs, cast and crew of POMPEY. I will see you all very soon.

The new home of Good Sir Pepin

2007-02-20T00:49:00.000-05:00

Because the new webpage format has now allowed me to add more pages, I've decided to include a page devoted to The Very Short Adventures of Sir Pepin Heroick, which was an experiment of mine a few years back. It used to be known as The Very Short Adventures of Sir Percival Curtainrod, but then I wrote a screenplay based on these adventures and changed the name of the lead character. It's just a bit of silliness by yours truly in short increments.

The original stories are included (edited to fit the new character), and I may write whole new adventures as well. The links are up, and the stories should be up within a few days. If you're of a mind to, give them a look. Best part: you don't have to read them in any particular order. Plot was not the first order of business.

The Pompey Bum

2007-02-18T02:02:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is true. The is nearly upon us to premiere POMPEY at my old haunt, the University of Michigan-Flintown. I will be flown in for this engagement, arriving home on March 29th. I am looking forward to seeing old friends and a new play.

dum de dum de dum

2007-02-01T00:59:00.000-05:00

Because at heart I am as vain as every other writer out there, I will sometimes Google my own name to see if any new reviews have popped up. Aside from the new ones about Chicago's EARL, not a lot going on. So, I read some older ones. Interesting what I found...

About seventy-five percent of them are very, very bad. It makes me appear like a second rate hack with no depth and flat comedic lines. I often see that casts do their best with the shallow material I've handed to them.

What to do, what to do.

I pump out lackluster material and people keep doing them. Is it all based on the success of BOISE, IDAHO? Finally, have people figured out that I peaked at that little bit of inspiration?

I know I shouldn't listen to critics, but the thing is, if these words survive on the internet by simply Googling my name, then what does that do to people who are interested in possibly considering my stuff for a future production? Is that why my success has been kept underground for many years? Have I deluded myself into thinking that as long as people keep asking for my stuff, then that somehow justifies my continuance?

How much is too much, I wonder. Is there a breaking point. Is there a moment when a writer says to himself that he has gone as far as he can go, and it's time to stop living like a recluse and get a real life?

I think that I am not really a new millennium playwright. I think I am a nineties playwright. Somehow that timeframe did not ask me to be more definitive in my statements. Now, all I hear is how schizophrenic I am. How I can't make up my mind between dark and light, shallowness and depth, absurdity and drama. My process of just basing one verbal reaction on the previous reaction no matter where it took me has undermined me. My want of just writing a good story has let people think that I have no idea where I am going. That's funny to me, because I thought the point was to get to the end, without any question as to how things ended up the way they did.

POMPEY is soon upon us. I thank God that my hometown will be the first to see it. That's where all this started for me, after all. One theatre critic in Flint. If it were in a major city, I think I would be on the look out for pieces of how I debased Shakespeare or unsuccessfully considered myself Stoppardian. At least I feel as if the hometown crowd is on my side.

I am not trying to take a stab at those whom have supported me in the larger markets. The fact that they saw something in these pieces worth performing is a reward in itself. But, man, if you read the reviews, you'd think that they would have done better with dead air.

Not trying to turn this into a pity-party. But, honestly, there has to be a point where a writer, nearing thirty-six and still acting like a struggling twenty-something in the face of adversity, must come to a decision.

Don't worry. I'll still write. If for my own entertainment and sense of accomplishment when something is finished, I'll still write.

As dear Beckett once said, "I can't go on. I'll go on." I may be a hack, but dammit, I'm still hopeful.

Up Dog Down

2007-01-28T01:03:00.000-05:00

As it turns out, Tip My Cup productions has decided not to put UP DOG UP on, leaving it a world premiere that never occurred. Shame, really. It's good stuff.

On the flip side of that, Director Dan and I attended a meet and greet with Fall Collection productions and are in the midst of deciding what piece to submit. It is a ways away (October) but it seems like a great opportunity.

Say "lavee."

for the trivia buff

2007-01-02T17:41:00.000-05:00

Here's an interesting little piece of info that will one day be part of the Trivial Pursuit Sean Michael Welch edition... in my head.

For those of you who actually read this, you may know that Chicago's Thunder and Lightning Ensemble will be running a performance of EARL THE VAMPIRE in 2007. What you may not know is that one of the stars is Kim Logan.

Yes, THE Kim Logan.

Who is Kim Logan? Well, she stared in another play of mine while I was still an up and young-coming college playwright back in the folds of the motherland, Flint. WHY BERNARD SHAW WAS ACTUALLY A WOMAN, as directed by Josh Sauvie for his directing class final, and starring Eric Miller, who gained infamy for being the original Hampton in, yes, you guessed it, EARL THE VAMPIRE. And also starring Jamie Caron, who is married to Jennifer Rudolph, who was my Shana in the same production.

When coincidences like this happen, I can't help but think serendipity plays a small part.

Here's to a new year full of welcome surprises.

P.S. GO KATIE!

Strange happenings in Chi-Town

2006-12-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

A strange twist of fate it is.

As you may know by now, EARL THE VAMPIRE will be performed in both Toledo and Chicago in the upcoming year. The Thunder and Lightning Ensemble will be responsible for the Windy City showing of it.

And now that twist I alluded to...

Young stalwart playwright and fellow Flintite Michael James Allen will also be showing his stuff to a Chicago audience in January, the same time as EARL is being shown.

And in this I ask this of you... see EARL. If you see only one show in Chicago, let that be EARL. Do not visit www.gorillatango.com where you can buy tickets to Mr. Allen's show or call the number 773-598-4549. Do not speak the name TYRANT, which is the title of Mr. Allen's play, and I assume will be exceedingly funny, but NEVERTHELESS! AVOID THIS SHOW! VOTE EARL! RESIST TEMPTATION! I KNOW TYRANT IS BOUND TO BE A HOOT! DOESN'T MATTER! CARPE EARL!

This is why I need an agent. I don't necessarily excel at marketing.

Break all legs possible, Michael. Here's to a lasting career for you.

Pear Danube, R.I.P.

2006-12-21T01:29:00.000-05:00

Entitled Entertainment is going out of business as of the end of January, and with it, a future production of WELL DONE, PEAR DANUBE.

I wish the best for all those who tried to see this film come to life, and am sorry to see it go.

Peace out,
Sean

The Other Earl

2006-12-17T03:51:00.000-05:00

The newest minority group is...vampires? "Earl The Vampire" takes a dark look at the serious subject of equal rights, centering around Earl and his group of vampire friends as they struggle to achieve equal rights.

Shame on me for not posting this earlier, but I had to Google myself to find this bit of Info.

Oh, how I do enjoy Googling myself...

EARL THE VAMPIRE via THE WINDY CITY!

At the Side Studio, 1520 W. Jarvis Ave. For more information visit www.thunderandlightning.org.

Company Thunder & Lightning Ensemble
Venue Side Studio
Author Sean Michael Welch
Cost $15
Styles Comedy, Dark Comedies
Performances
(Opens January 11, 2007, Closes February 11, 2007)
Fridays 7:30 p.m.
Saturdays 7:30 p.m.
Sundays 7:30 p.m.
Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

A tale of two Earls

2006-12-16T11:35:00.000-05:00

2007 shall see not one but two productions of EARL THE VAMPIRE, one in Toledo and one in Chicago. These will be the first productions of Earl since the infamous run for the ACTF title which saw shows in Flint, Indianapolis, and Washington DC. These will also be the first productions that include the revisions concocted after the original show, which I have never seen done. The Thunder and Lightning Ensemble will take care of the Chicago end of it (details forthcoming), and Owens Community College will be the sight of the Toledo show, dates and times starting... now.

Owens Community College
Center for Fine and Performing Arts
April 13, 14, 15, 20, 21
Show times at 8PM except the Sunday is a 2:30 matinée

Many thanks to these brave souls for getting Earl back on the stage. We missed you, big guy.

Whatcha up ta, man?

2006-12-08T21:17:00.000-05:00

Taking a brief vacation from the business of writing plays, I've decided to revisit the novel arena, by doing edits on THE MIGHTY OLIVER, which used to be titled THE MIGHTY BENJI (editing started pretty much right off the bat, you see). Having taken some time off of it seems to be just the thing I needed. That, and using an editor (thank you, Cindi), seems to have helped in me figuring out how to trim the narration down some, as I tend to be a bit wordy and use awfully long sentences.

Now, if I could just entice some nice publisher with this story, which I personally rank as one of my best, I'd be in business. So, if anyone knows any, let me know. Or an agent. Agents are cool.

Work, work, work

2006-11-23T22:57:00.000-05:00

Because I get very, very bored very, very easily, and am always wanting to spice things up a bit... not that the following necessarily spices things up... you know what? That statement was wholly inappropriate, so I'm just going to start over instead of using the delete key.

I have added a few more plays to "The Works" on this here website. RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS, DEMONIC, and DR. PUPPERTINK AND HIS AMAZING PILLOW are now available for public consumption. Two newer ones and one older. Hopes you likes.

What About the Bones? and Up Dog Up

2006-11-17T13:26:00.000-05:00

One of my oldest and one of my newest, coming soon. WHAT ABOUT THE BONES? gets its first ever reading on November 30th(?) and UP DOG UP to be performed by Tip My Cup.

Gotta go to Greece now. More when I get back.

Peace out,
Sean

Shakespeare! Beckett! Pinter! Wilder! Durang! Welch?

2006-11-11T00:39:00.000-05:00

Just saw the King's Crown Shakespeare Troupe's Festival of One Act Plays, in which BOISE, IDAHO was included, along with those names mentioned above. So, as you can imagine, when I saw the huge posters hanging in the lobby with my name included among these playwrights... I naturally felt ridiculously out of place. Better nevertheless, they pulled it off in spades, and there was much merriment abound. So, I recommend finding out more about these people. Thank you, Molly Braverman, for your fine direction and thank you, Brett, Tatiana, Dan, and Emily, for your energy and your excellent salad tossing.

That didn't take long at all

2006-11-04T00:36:00.000-05:00

ELEGANT WOMEN WITH EXCELLENT MANNERS is now fit for public consumption. You'll find it on the "see For Yourself!" section of the website. Feel free to pick me apart for not being able to write strong female characters at your leisure.

new stuff

2006-11-03T02:44:00.000-05:00

Just finished a brand new play. A little bit of an experiment, as for the first time ever, all the characters are female. People have bothered me long enough about my lack of female characters, so I decided to give it a shot. Besides, someone once told me that I am not very good at writing female characters, so I figure it was my time to step up.

Not that this is a clue into the mystery of the female mind. Far from it. It's pure old school Sean: silliness, random occurances, denial, and violence. What I do best, it seems. I didn't ask anything of myself other than to enjoy the piece, which I hope is enjoyable, if not a bit disturbing.

ELEGANT WOMEN WITH EXCELLENT MANNERS is the working title. We'll see if it sticks.

Coming soon to a bookstore next to a theatre near you...

2006-10-04T12:55:00.000-04:00

In other news...

OCTOBER 13th, 14th, and 15th... at 8pm...

"BOISE, IDAHO" RETURNS TO NEW YORK!

And it's FREE! That means you don't PAY! ARE WE NUTS!?! NO MONEY DOWN!

Here's the kicker...

Where? Borders Books and Music, Kips Bay in Manhattan
32nd and 2nd Ave, next to the movie theatre

Experience what it must be like to see an actual play within the confines of an actual bookstore through an actual simulation... or something.

Peace out,
Sean

Somebody stop me!

2006-09-07T02:19:00.000-04:00

If you ain't heard this on yet, allow me to expound for the boys in the back.

SMW is not leaving NYC. Repeat: the egoriffic Mr. Sean Michael will not be vacating Nuevo Yorka for a far sunnier Frisco.

And why? Why, why why? Because the elastic Mr. Goodbottom has found a reason to stay. And it comes in the form of the formation of a theatre company of his very own. You heard it here first. Sean's goin' legit!

The not-yet-but-soon-to-be named company will do nothing less than try to deliver its promise to reconstruct the world of indy theatre. And the premiere of such a pact will be an experiment in happenstance. We have been offered a chance to perform our first ever production in... the very bookstore that I work in. Isn't that just weird? Huh? Weird, huh? Yeah, that's what I thought.

The deal is not set, but after confering with two of the three brothers in faith, it looks like a go. I will send out invites when more is learned, but it will be in October, and all are welcome.

The karma wheel turns round and round. Next week, I get hit by a bus that didn't see the red light. La la la.

like a brand new pair of shoes

2006-08-14T00:11:00.000-04:00

By popular demand... all right, one demand... I've decided to hoist my short story "Fumingation" up on my homepage in the hopes that will like it and then tell a friend. Call it a social experiement, or... me just wanting attention, yo.

NO! Better than that... I'm reaching out... or something.

Tell the truth, I don't know what the big idea is. I get big ideas and then I look at what I've done and go "Huh."

Maybe I just needed to change my homepage. I'm sooooo flaky.

Regardless, take a gander. Feel free to comment, my guestbook has gone a long time without feelin' the love.

Coming Soon... Box of Gordon?

2006-08-04T00:34:00.000-04:00

I can honestly say that of the many plays that I have written in the last ten years, there are a few that I never ever EVER thought would get a perfomance. And one of those is about to.

The Thunder and Lightning Ensemble of Chicago is about to embark on the premiere of BOX OF GORDON, a never before seen ten-minute piece I did very early in my career. And besides TRY NOT TO STEP ON THE NAKED MAN, it is the only other play of mine to feature a naked man. Except this naked man won't be concealed by cleverly placed couches. Oh, no no no. This one lives in an aquarium for the whole audience to enjoy.

T&L will also be the first group outside of the superstars of The University of Michigan-Flint to produce EARL THE VAMPIRE, to be directed by my former ACTF cohort Chris Arnold, who has also directed NO ONE EVER DIED IN MONTANA for me.

Break many legs, T&L. I can't wait to hear all about it.

puff n'stuff

2006-07-18T20:45:00.000-04:00

Just wrote my first short story in a REAL long time and am quite happy with the results. It's told in somewhat dry journalism speak, and the subject matter deals with crime. The US government decides that the best way to deal with crime is to bomb areas of the United States, which is sparked by the kidnapping of a young girl. They start with Detroit and go from there garnering public support as they merrily roll along.

Let's just say that I was inspired.

I call this little diddy FUMIGATION.

Viva la KT!

2006-07-14T02:52:00.000-04:00

When I don't consume my thoughts with what other plays to write, I think of KT, the one person in this crazy madcap world who is able to perform any character I throw at her with verve and gusto.

KT is going through an ordeal right now. But she is getting better. God bless her she's giving the ordeal a big ol' beatdown Flintstyle, yo. And I could not be happier. The world is a better place because this girl fights with more strength than any one of us possesses.

Get better and soon, hon. Be the ball. You have a world to enliven.

On the other side of this equation... in the way the mad world plays us ...

R.I.P. Elizabeth Joy Hassett Weitz. I never had the chance to meet you, but if you are anything like your sister Julie, then you are a loss that is incomprehensible. My thoughts are with Julie and her family through this difficult time.

"In her honor, the only thing left is to live and love as much as you possibly can. Really love. And give." - Julie Atkins

Bonzai!

2006-07-09T22:26:00.000-04:00

Five plays in three weeks. Hmmm. That's about as productive as I've been since my salad days back in Flintown. Ah, memories. Now if I could just keep going at this rate, I'll have possibly a hundred plays by the end of the year.

Too much?

I feel pretty good about RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS. I'm tempted to send it to a place that has shot me down twice before: Playwrights Horizons. They didn't like SLAB and they thought that THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF FURNITURE was too manly. I imagine they would just stare at this one as say, "It's too repetitive." But I can always try.

I've been meeting with a couple of guys who want to get in on a production of SAFETY for the Ignite Festival as of late. Ryan Blackwell, of the New Haven Blackwells, who played Sabinus in Unartistically Frustrated's production of END CALIGULA and Dan Zisson, who seems like a swell fellow to direct. We have submitted the materials and are now waiting for confirmation. Fingers crossed - holy crap - amen.

Soooo.... what to do, what to do? I obviously feel reenergized and have the need to bash away at my keyboard once again, but I'm a bit spent after RISE UP. I suppose I should take a rest, but I've learned to despise those. Oh, well. I still have Netflix.

RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS

2006-07-09T04:04:00.000-04:00

So, I finished another one. And I managed to keep the working title. I can't tell if I'm reaching for new ground or exploring old territory.

Fancy that, I still feel like writing more. More and more, with or without an audience. I'm in the zone, falling away from old habits and trying to create new ones. But if it's still me, then how far am I really going?

I'll send these last four to anyone who wants to read. If you want to know what's up, then take a look. Criticism is always welcome. As long as I have an audience, then nothing else matters.

La la la.

everybody propaganda!

2006-07-06T12:46:00.000-04:00

Now just the girls!

Not really.

Started writing another play last night. I seem to be leaning towards a more disjointed theatrical experience. Perhaps I'm so disillusioned with everything that I'm purposely writing stuff that is on the other side of the spectrum than say... the musical version of Sex and the City (not making this up). Or maybe I've been trying to train myself into a more commercially-viable format for so long now, that my body is starting to reject it, and this is what's coming up.

But vomitous metaphors aside, I figure as long as I'm getting something out, then it can't be bad.

I may change the title of this new one, but for right now the working title is RISE UP YOU BLOODY ANIMALS. You see? Even the title is suspect.

I don't know if this is a new direction or an old direction I kind of pushed out long ago when I decided I just wanted to be funny, but it can't hurt. I have plenty of work to chose from, so no one says these last few works need ever get produced. But at least I have them now.

Thinking about KT. Peace and love.

Two in one night? By Jonah!

2006-07-04T22:23:00.000-04:00

Just wrote my first ten or less minute play in... years it seems. Haven't attempted something like this since school. I don't know if it makes sense, but at least I got one out. Coming soon... DIRECTIONS, by Sean Michael blahdy blah.

I TASTE LIKE THE DREAMS OF MAD CHILDREN

2006-07-04T21:14:00.000-04:00

If you're wondering, that is the name of the play I just wrote. And yes, some would consider it... disturbing. Because it is. Not for children. Bad, bad, keep away. Just a glancing analogy I had floating around in me noggin'. I'm feeling very theatrical as of late, and wanted to see what I could come up with.

Right now, though, inspiration is hither and yon, so I suppose I have another one to write. It's good to get back into the game again.

DEMONIC

2006-06-30T02:42:00.000-04:00

Well, my first complete farce in a long time is finished, and I seem to be happy with the turnout. Nothing like a little spoof of exorcism to get the juices flowing again. So that's play number 73 from my count, which is... far too many. Seriously, I need a hobby.

A block? Pish.

2006-06-29T03:24:00.000-04:00

In an effort to return to what I used to do before I tried to get heavy and artistic, I'm writing a piece now that is just plain silly. Silly save the subject matter. I figure if you're going to have a go at exorcism, you might as well go all out, since the serious side of it has already been adressed. Warning: if you like religion and think God is pretty great, then you should probably avoid this piece altogether.

The new play is called DEMONIC. I'll probably wrap it up tomorrow night. And I'll probably change the title, since the word never appears in the play.

So, yeah... that's what's going on.

The drought is over (a slight return)

2006-06-22T03:47:00.000-04:00

I suppose the last few weeks of a succesful show in Noho, seeing another playwright's play, and watching Beckett and The Talented Mr. Ripley on DVD has done well to inspire me. And may I say, it's about friggin' time. So, there's a new play around entitled UP, DOG, UP. Which as soon as it's been through the ringer, will probably be posted. Be forewarned, though... I was feeling particularly theatrical for this piece, as well as slightly vaudevillian, so any who decide to try to pull this on off? Lotsa work to be done. Juggling, singing, sleight-of-hand, and physical abuse. All I'm saying. It's a fun one, and a dark one, so basically it is me getting back to me roots.

I'd like to thank people who still think I can write stuff for thinking that I can still write stuff. Your inspiration is neat. Even swell. My thanks.

I'll tell when the next drought is over. Promise.

California STILL loves me more

2006-06-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

My spies were present at the "Naked in Idaho" performance in North Hollywood just two nights ago in order to make sure that all was well. And... all was well. They raved about the shows, the actors, and the free wine that was served. Much thanks to Eric Normington and the casts (especially the naked guy, sorry dude) of Next Arena, my new favorite people.

And while LA Weekly said that I work better on paper than onstage... I just think that guy doesn't know how to have a good time.

Goin' to California... again...

2006-03-29T22:14:00.000-05:00

Ah, yes. California. The weather, the girls, the... the towels. How I love that I've been there twice. And when I cannot be there, at least my shows can be.

NAKED IN IDAHO!
"Boise, Idaho" and "Try Not to Step on the Naked Man" together at last! Again! At last!

Starting May 19th, the Raven Playhouse in North Hollywood presents a double bill of Sean, which is twice more Sean that most people are used to experiencing.

Most people, I said. If I am sure to take my Vitamin D, then we're off to the races.

If you live in the California area, which may or may not include Hawaii, and want to receive a postcard for this show, or if you don't live in the area and just like receiving postcards because it makes it appear as if people care, then go ahead and send me a mailing address to my email which appears on the top of the homepage.

Thank you for your patronage. Really. I mean it. Kisses. Lots of them.

It isn't a drought until I say so

2006-03-20T21:51:00.000-05:00

I've just realized that I haven't written anything in a very long time. I can't even really say how long it's been, but it's been awhile. Not sure how that happened. Oh, where have the days gone where I would plop out a new thing a month? Or even in a week? Perhaps I've slowed down a bit. Perhaps I've said all that I felt I should say. Maybe I have milked the NYC experience for all its worth. Not sure what's happening, but my once prolific nature is drying up.

I think Tamara is right. A move may be necessary. But where oh where shall this little Sean go?

Oh, this is fun. I just found out at a party last night that the African equivalent of my name(feminine only) means "pubic hair." Huh. THANKS MOM AND DAD.

It's okay. The word is spelled "Shuun" anyway and it's only for girls. Now I just feel sorry for African girls with that name. The teasing must be endless.

So... if you have any suggestions as to where I might move, or if you have an idea you think I should write about, feel free to let me know. I'd hate to think that I'm completely out of ideas over here.

I'd like to thank... hold on I have a list...

2006-03-02T23:52:00.000-05:00

I'd like to thank Jacquelyn Landgraf for once again hoisting a successful production of "Boise, Idaho" onto the stage. She and her regimen of 2nd Year NYUers done me proud. It's good to see that when Boise gets put up, it still has some legs on it.

And EVEN THOUGH the line "Love is like a fat accordion player, you never know which one to squeeze," was unmercilessly axed from the final cut due to time restraints... what is that - four seconds shaved off? - I still owe her a debt of thanks, and possibly a few beers down the road.

For those of you who don't know the multitalented Jacquelyn, she was one of the wonderful members of the Moving Theatre Company, who have done four of my pieces with all the manic energy they could muster. Sadly departed, but ever in spirit with me. And now she is bringing her multitalented talents (que?) to another project, which I would like to plug right here. Starting... now.

"Hello Friends, Lovers, Countrymen,

After pretty much ten years of build-up, it is AT LAST time for my
*debut* with the Neo-Futurists "Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go
Blind"!!!!

Oh there will be Chance, Change, Chaos, and drinking. You betchya.

Chicago's longest-running show (17 years!) is now in New York City!
And so am I!

For those of you who don't know about Too Much Light...it's time you
do! it's an ongoing show, and we're a resident company of the Kraine
Theater in the East Village. I'm in the show for the next 3 weeks,
then through all of May...and so on until eternity.

Tix are $10 plus the roll of a 6-sided die at the door, or you can go
to Theater Mania to order tix online. Use the promotional code: pizza
for $1.50 off

I LOVE YOU ALL! Hope to see you very soon!

jacquelyn

jacquelyn@nyneofuturists.org"

Many thanks, Jacquelyn. You're still one of the good ones. Flint got your back, G.

Pompey 2007

2006-02-13T01:29:00.000-05:00

Nothing like home cooking. POMPEY will have its world premiere at the University of Michigan-Flint, the place where I first sharpened my little playwrighting fingers. To be performed on the main stage, no less. The same stage where I appeared as POMPEY in Shakespeare's MEASURE FOR MEASURE wearing leather pants and a Blackie Lawless wig.

Blackie Lawless. Lead singer of WASP. They did that one song. I WILL NOT BE THE ONLY OLD STONER IN THE ROOM!

As a plus, they have graciously offered to fly me in for the performance.

In other news... not much. Eventually a movie will get made, eventually I'll start writing something else, and eventually I'll get a haircut. Other than that... well, we had a blizzard today. Here's Tom with the weather.

Down at the old Shrug and Wrinkle

2006-01-31T00:34:00.000-05:00

After trying my hand at the horror/mystery/thiller kind of sort of thing, I decided to see what would come from the action end of things, less in the playful, more in the dark. The tentative title for this screenplay is OLD BULLETS, but since I can't seem to find a way to bring it into the story, it may end up being something else.

I thought I was going to end up taking a break after I got QUIET out of my system, but that doesn't seem to be the case. For whatever reason, my nightmares are continuing (why is Peter O'Toole scary, by the way?) and so my mind was not ready for a rest. It's funny, I had gone so long without them, and now, all of a sudden, I dream of nothing else but scary stuff. And not just a big bag of "boo," I mean the stuff you end up shaking yourself awake because of. Frankly, it's getting a bit old. If anyone has any recommendations for me as to how to get back on track, feel free to send them my way.

And no "you should move away from New York" suggestions. I get the hint.

Trojan Whore rethought?

2006-01-16T03:31:00.000-05:00

Don't know why I didn't see this before. It's a review of Trojan Whore. And it makes me look like a completely unfunny boob. Read at your own discretion.

http://www.tuftsdaily.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2005/04/05/4252073de48ca

The views of this reviewer are not necessarily those of Sean Michael Welch, his parents, Mill 6, or... people who actually liked it. La la la.

QUIET!

2006-01-16T03:19:00.000-05:00

No, I mean it. Shut up.

A screenplay known as QUIET now exists and is waiting for Rob to tell me how I screwed up the second half of it. It's got some horribly creepy and twisted stuff in it, more than I'm used to making up, and it's decidedly not funny. As such, I'm not going to hoist it upon the site, due to language, sexual content, and... creepy and twisted stuff.

I figure you have to write at least one of those, right? Since my dreams have been more nightmarish as of late, I let that feeling be my guide.

So, now I begin yet another segment of "Sean's Big Bad Writer's Block" until something else comes along.

Smells like 2006.

2006-01-11T00:58:00.000-05:00

Because of my heavy scope of dreaming as of late, I decided to give my active subconscious a rest and eek something out. Giving the mystery/thiller/horror film genre a shot, just to see what would happen. So far... pretty bleak. No sir, I didn't laugh. Might be some sort of paranoid fever dream I'm concocting here.

Wormhole

2005-12-07T16:15:00.000-05:00

To give you an idea of how New York time is different from Michigan time...

SLAB is currently being shown at the Flint Community Theatre and it just sort of snuck up me. My how time flies in New York. Had I been in Flint, it probably would have seemed like forever until gametime. But I'm here, four years removed, and things are moving steadily along back home.

My friends are getting MARRIED and having CHILDREN! I think Jason Hurley's little girl had her first driving lesson earlier this year.

Thanks to Nathan, Dan, and the rest of FCT for getting me another show at home. Here is a Flint Journal write-up on it. Yes, oddly enough, Flint has a theatre critic.

THE FLINT JOURNAL
Saturday, December 03, 2005
By Kathleen Kirby
CONTRIBUTING WRITER

OK, "Slab" doesn't have a holiday theme, but that might be refreshing this month with most of the available live entertainment consisting of Yuletide stories and songs.

Actually, this comedy, which has opened at Good Beans Cafe under the auspices of Flint City Theatre, is just about as far from holiday fare as it can get.

Written by University of Michigan-Flint theater graduate Sean Michael Welch, the show opens with producer Louden Gray (Dan Gerics) addressing the audience. His message reveals his concern that the audience has abandoned live theater in favor of film and television. He thinks he has a surefire way to bring patrons back - he'll kill someone onstage!

Welch's script is clearly a spoof on a couple of fronts. It reacts to the current addiction of the viewing public to reality shows, and it comments comically on the nearly surreal seriousness of some small theater groups.

Gray's assistant, the compassionate and nurturing Seela Murr (Sara Robinson), comes up with a script by a local college student that seems to fill the bill. So they schedule auditions.

The trick is to find an actor willing to die onstage. That's no small feat, but oddly enough one such person surfaces when Tony Slab (Dan Visser) actually seems eager to play the role.

He sees it as a chance at immortality when Gray promises him enduring notoriety for years to come. Besides, he was thinking of suicide anyway.

Things continue to fall into place when an actor willing to do the killing steps forward. Rale Kilbourne (Cedric L. Hayes) seems unconcerned with the aftermath of carrying out the demands of the role since he's feeling lonely for the prison from which he was recently released and would actually like to go back.

Gray and Murr next need to find a financial backer so their grand plan to lure playgoers back will reach a sizable enough audience to have the desired effect. They find one in Mr. Caesar (Jesse Glenn), a Howard Hughes-type weirdo with a lot of money and even more childlike quirks. Mr. Caesar never speaks, but his "mouthpiece," Effrin (Jordan Climie), seems to read his thoughts and express his wishes.

When Gray is unhappy with the 750-seat theater Effrin first offers, Caesar manages to secure national television as the venue for Gray's play. With that irony in place, things start to unravel a bit.

Director Nathan Pease set his stage on a platform shrouded in black and broken up by working TV screens. If that's not symbolic enough, the script itself is loaded with wacky metaphors.

We've come to expect unusual and interesting things from FCT, and "Slab" certainly fits that mold. It's comical, quirky, and only a bit disturbing.

"Slab" continues at 8 p.m. today and Thursday through Dec. 10.

Details: (810) 341-6912, (810) 237-4663. www.flintcitytheatre.com.

BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND

2005-11-24T05:29:00.000-05:00

The results are in and... Rob says we're good to go. Apparently the time off did me some good, because I turned out not only a good title but a "stellar ending," which, when it comes right down to it, is something everyone wants, ain't it?

So, although I don't know if I have something else in me at this moment, it feels good to at least be able to produce something. And something that makes me feel as if I've taken another step. Ain't felt like that in awhile.

Stay tuned. I may have this one posted in a few days for yawl to take a look at. Opinions, as always, are welcome.

Introducing...

2005-11-22T00:17:00.000-05:00

...the first play I've written in a long, long time. I've decided to stick with the name, BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND. It seemed appropriate. It's a three-acter, minimial set requirements, and four cast members, two male, two female. And I think it's pretty good, if I'm allowed to say. I will know more once Rob reads through it, but even if changes are to be made, I doubt if there will be many, at least as far as structure goes.

Word to the people stuck in the block. Find yerself a muse. She knows how to shake things up inside your brain, even if she never intended on doing so.

Now... what do I do now?

Bah-zing!

2005-11-20T15:26:00.000-05:00

It appears as if I’m writing again. I seem to have found a muse. Don’t ask.

Since I am repeatedly fascinated by the concept of dreams, not only as they are, but what they are as still unconquerable territory by clever marketing schemes, I’ve started writing a kind of companion piece to I AM A SONG ABOUT LOVE. This one takes the original concept a bit further by selling dreams door-to-door. Call it a sequel if you must. Soon I will complete BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND, which is a working title, but I’m thinking it will probably stick.

After I complete this one, I plan on another writer’s block, one that could possibly compete with the last one. Stay tuned. Records may fall.

Just sayin'...

2005-11-11T02:18:00.000-05:00

So, I started writing a new play. La la la, rejoice. But then I put it down, because it didn't seem to be going anywhere. Or rather, the reason I had for writing was, for me, not working within the context of the story I was concocting around it.

I may try turning JASON AND SCOTTY IN A WEIRD PARALLEL UNIVERSE SORT OF THING into a novel, like I did for THE MIGHTY BENJI (OLIVER). I know it's me rehashing material I've already done, but I really need something to do. And since nothing new is coming, and what is new isn't coming out like I want it to, I at least can keep my brain occupied.

I've also contimplated a return to THE SPIRIT BABES, simply because it's always been that story that I always wanted to tell, but couldn't find the right medium for it.

You know, I talk an awful lot about writing for someone who doesn't do near enough of it...

Idle hands... blah blah blah

2005-11-08T00:22:00.000-05:00

In order to cope with the ominous amount of inactivity I'm experiencing, I'm currently in the midst of editing THE MIGHTY BENJI novel. In fact, the name has now officially changed to THE MIGHTY OLIVER. One of my co-workers has been making an awful lot of pencil marks on my work, and I have retyping from scratch. Makes me feel as if I'm keeping myself busy.

Not since June 28, huh?

2005-11-02T01:40:00.000-05:00

Yup. Nothing new, nothing exciting, nothing but nothing going on month number five. Place your bets, how long will it last?

Fud. And not in the good way.

2005-10-17T02:53:00.000-04:00

I've obviously worn out my New York creativity phase. Where at first, there was none, there then came a ridiculous amount of production which lasted approxinately three and a half years. And now... eh, not so much. Perhaps my mind is asking me to stop being such an agoraphobe.

I'm sure that there's a source behind this latest block. Possibly the promise of my first movie. Perhaps things at work have made a turn for the better. Maybe some girl is driving me insane. Place your bets.

I'm not willing to say for certain if I'm done for good. I like to think that since writing has been such a part of me since I was very young, that it will always be there for me. The muse may ignore me, but she's moody, so you can't really count on her.

In the meantime, I'll scrawl some journal entries, and leave the rest to time.

Are you KIDDING ME!?!

2005-10-16T02:12:00.000-04:00

I just looked back upon this here blog to discover... I haven't attempted to write anything since June 28th. Three months of nothing? What the hoary heck is wrong with me? Did I blow something having written so much for the last three and a half years? Is the well now dry?

I've come to the point where I'm now sitting in front of my computer and trying to force myself to do something. Apparently emails and blog entries are all I can muster. I don't know what's wrong, really. I've been in a better mood the last couple of days, at least.

"Ode to Some Dancing Birdman Drawn by Jean Cocteau" doesn't count.

A thousand pardons

2005-10-14T01:19:00.000-04:00

I apologize to those who have been trying to seek me out in order to do some of my work. I thought that my email was posted on the site, but apparently during one of my editing sessions, I must have deleted it. I am a very bad little playwright and should have my head squeezed very tightly.

This is my email:

zodi71@rcn.com

And again:

zodi71@rcn.com

One more time for the boys in the back:

zodi71@rcn.com

Of course its not really on the site, is it? It's on this blog that Rob has created for me. So I suppose I will have to go back and put it on the homepage as well. Technology is hard.

There's nothing new from the Pear Danube front except that I managed to get the final draft done in two swoops and it is now in the hands of my director. I have no idea what the next step is. Perhaps a beer and a chat.

The process... did not hurt as much as I thought it would

2005-09-22T19:14:00.000-04:00

There are now two perfectly fine scripts of WELL DONE, PEAR DANUBE! available for consideration on the table. One with an appearence by Isaac Newton, one without. It could go either way, but my producer is really pressing for Isaac Newton to make an appearance. Apparently she's impressed with his work.

The process begins...

2005-09-17T19:25:00.000-04:00

My producer Laura has gotten back to me about what is needed to start work on PEAR. First off, and I should have seen this coming, I need to shave about twenty pages off of it. Second, I need to come up with that points to historical context. So essentially I have to take things away as I add things and hope that my math skills are still up to high school level.

On the bright side, I borrowed a chair from work so I can actually sit in front of my computer.

2005-09-01T19:26:00.000-04:00

WELL DONE, PEAR DANUBE! has now officially become a blurb!

2005-08-15T19:28:00.000-04:00

This is my new favorite review.
West End: Broadway World

2005-08-06T19:28:00.000-04:00

One more END CALIGULA to go and the last show was gold. Kudos to the actors and director for finally getting to the good audience. Nothing against the others, but they seemed a bit hesitant to laugh. Reminds me of the days of BREK-EK-EQUUS. Lots of fun to do, and lots of people scared to laugh because it was just really weird.

The film contract has been decided. All it needs is my signature and we're off. It appears as if they want to get started right away as well.

In other news, it appears as if one of my film producers is a drummer in a blues band as well. You can witness them at Johnny the Bossman. She's the one whose a girl in case you're wondering. Dig that stare of confidence, yo.

2005-07-21T19:30:00.000-04:00

Sooooooooo... I think I just realized today that I have a play opening tomorrow. Not sure how I forgot that. I guess I won't turn on the nerves until I get there, as that is my way. Once there, I hope to be seized by fright and slip nonchalantly underneath my seat and plug my ears. Call it my pre-game ritual, everybody's got one. Or, if they have free beverages, which I highly doubt, I hope to be four or five glasses of wine in before any of this happens, so I be both nervous and drunk.

If this sounds like I have no faith in the Unartistically Frustrated crew, then let me assauge your fears. Assauge, assauge, how's that? I go through this all the time, trust me. Until I actually here people start laughing, I can't even begin to relax. Perhaps that's why, for the most part, I tend to stick with comedies. I'd be an absolute mess if I had one of my few dramas produced.

Me: "Oh, sweet Jesus, NO ONE'S LAUGHING!"

Concerned citizen: "Dude. It's a drama."

Me: "Ah, yes. Thank you, concerned citizen."

Concerned citizen: "Idiot."

Me: "What?"

And so on... thanks again to concerned citizen for his input.

2005-07-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

Just sort of wondering why there's a warning on top of my page for "Femenique Breast Enhancement Formula."

2005-07-17T19:31:00.000-04:00

I'm a fuzzy pickle!

And... that's about it.

2005-07-16T19:32:00.000-04:00

Sheesh. From whence comes such a drought? I am without thought pertaining to journeys towards self-expression. Or even self-indulgence, my absolute FAVORITE INDULGENCE! WHEEEEEE! SEE? THAT WAS JUST FOR MY ENJOYMENT! AND YET SO SHORT-LIVED!

I'd take up kite-flying if I wasn't so scared of moths.

(what?)

It's true. I am a man without miles of mirth to molest the masses with once again, even if my powers of alliteration are still up to speed. Oh, morbid moose. Oh, melacholy monkey. Oh, murky moo-moo. Oh... m. And m again.

Dinkel dabby doo-doo dinkel.

All right, lost it again.

I have no explanation for you as to why all of a sudden nothing seems to be worth writing. Maybe I'm in the incubating process and once I steer myself back on course, after hours of refelction and possibly finding some fancy drug to become addicted too, then I will create something... pretty. Until then, dear friends, I must wait for my film contract, my play to go up, Zoetrope to get back to me about my latest submission, in order to stroke the vanity that so becomes me, like a wide-brimmed hat or an oily moustache.

In the meantime, find time to boogie, embrace that which is far away, and eat bran. Lots of it. And don't enjoy Coke. No matter what they tell you.

PS: Melancholy has a "n" in it, in case you were interested in checking my spelling. I type fast, I'm not an idiot. Today.

2005-07-12T19:33:00.000-04:00

The premiere of END CALIGULA will be an slightly edited version. In order to insure that we will not go over the ninety-minute time limit, I've had to shave off some stuff. And... no togas. THAT'S OKAY! NO PROBLEM! TOGAS ARE EXPENSIVE!

I've met with half the cast now, as they allowed me to be at a rehearsal. The two leads are phenoms. Just perfect for the kind of stuff I do. And Claudius actually bears resemblence to the Claudius that appeared in the original, and unfinished, film version of "I, Claudius," which one can only see if you have access to the "I, Claudius" box set. The energy is good, they are having a lot of fun in rehearsals, which is all I ever ask for. If the actors are enjoying themselves, then the audience is more able to experience the joy with them. There's nothing worse than seeing a bunch of performers not having fun with something they're involved in. I mean, look at what you're doing. You're on a stage, pretending to be someone else. You're returning to the joy you felt as a child, playing the hero or the villain. You're eight years old. Even when you say the big words and discuss the big ideas, you're just a kid. Let those other people be adults. And then wag your tongues at them vigorously.

2005-07-07T19:33:00.000-04:00

Still going through writer's block, but have found a nice distraction, which I have no intention in revealing to you, as I still like to think of myself as "mysterious" or "enigmatic" or, the more oft used "retarded." I think for the moment, I'll just wait for the film contract, the performance of END CALIGULA, and see how I feel after that. And I think POMPEY was a good end note for the time being.

Suddenly NYC doesn't seem so bad.

2005-07-01T19:34:00.000-04:00

SIGH. Not writing is booooooooring. Nothing's coming, nothing's getting to me, everything I come up with seems like I'm egging myself on to return to an unfinished project, which for whatever reason, I'm avoiding like Coca-Cola. I come home, I check my inboxes, and tool through done scripts as if trying to force myself into the creative arc once more. But it ain't happening. Thankfully I have a strange Florida connection who allows me to write expansive emails about nothing in particular, so I don't suddenly forget how to type. Peace unto you, little sister, and all your good tidings.

I will be flying to Germany in September to visit my parents and to visit a proper beerhall, the kind you really only get in Milwaukee. And The Keller Theatre has graciously (under duress) agreed to perform to of my shorter works, CHARLESTON'S FINGER and TRY NOT TO STEP ON THE ANTHROPOLOGIST. Oldies but goodies. Thanks once again to David Turner.

2005-06-28T19:35:00.000-04:00

Trying to write a new play entitled SOMETHING IN MY I, but I'm not getting a good enough flow, so I have to leave it for the moment, or just write it in bits and pieces, which I absolutely hate doing, as it makes me feel as if I'm not establishing a rhythm, and therefore there must be some problem inherent in the script itself. If I can't go in with both guns blazing, then there must be a problem. This would be a fourth version of the piece (one screenplay, one novel, two plays, none completed), so it's a little disheartening. I wish I knew how to take a break. I can't possibly watch the same DVD's over and over again.

Just a reminder: END CALIGULA. Yes, the same one that's on the homepage. A new email blast will be around shortly according to my sources (hi, Caroline! You're a "source" now!), so that will be my gift of spam to you in coming weeks. There's talk of group rates as well. So bring the fam!