Trying to write a new play entitled SOMETHING IN MY I, but I'm not getting a good enough flow, so I have to leave it for the moment, or just write it in bits and pieces, which I absolutely hate doing, as it makes me feel as if I'm not establishing a rhythm, and therefore there must be some problem inherent in the script itself. If I can't go in with both guns blazing, then there must be a problem. This would be a fourth version of the piece (one screenplay, one novel, two plays, none completed), so it's a little disheartening. I wish I knew how to take a break. I can't possibly watch the same DVD's over and over again.

Just a reminder: END CALIGULA. Yes, the same one that's on the homepage. A new email blast will be around shortly according to my sources (hi, Caroline! You're a "source" now!), so that will be my gift of spam to you in coming weeks. There's talk of group rates as well. So bring the fam!

My counter is currently reading "000000." Not sure why. Is that an omen. DEAR LORD! I AM THE LAST MAN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH! I HAVE TO GO TO THE SUPERMARKET RIGHT NOW!

I got halfway through ODYSSEUS RETURNS and then just stopped. I hate when that happens. It's funny, but I feel as if I need something else to write. Except I don't know what that is. Maybe I'm just burned out. I'm hoping that the future production of END CALIGULA will make me feel like a productive member of society again. At least for a week. Then I can crawl back in my little hole and wait for the film contract, wait for the next production, and wait to see if I can build up some gumption to try to get THE MIGHTY BENJI published.

The initital response to POMPEY has been very favorable. Did I already mention that? Oh, well. As I said, not too much going on right now.

In an effort to keep myself from remaining active, I started writing a sorta, kinda, not really companion piece to THE TROJAN WHORE. Since I did THE ILLIAD, I figured I might as well do something similar to THE ODYSSEY, and not just a parody of it. Done that already. This one seems strictly for my own entertainment, just to keep my chops sharp. It's about Odysseus concerning himself with how to explain to his wife why exactly it took him ten years after the war was over to come home.

I am in talks with old navy buddy Kristina Leach concerning I AM A SONG ABOUT LOVE. Apparently she digs it, and would like to see it done, either acting as director or lead actress. As we speak, I am waiting for her to return home from buying milk and watching Six Feet Under so we can have a chat about it. This would be a California show, of course. God, I hope Joel Beers makes an appearence!

I ended up stalling on THE ODYSSEY! and went back to the POMPEY drawing board. The result? I now have two versions of the play. One poetic, one moderate. For the first time it's not plot and storyline holding me up, it's use of language. You'll just have to wait before this one gets put out for consumption, I still have test readers on the case.

Once again foregoing the idea of taking a break, because frankly, I have nothing else to occupy my time with, I've decided to have another go at my screenplay for THE ODYSSEY! The first draft was taken from an audio play me and Rob designed, but unfortunately, upon re-reading it, it's clear that a lot of the audio gags just don't translate as well. The best parts of the screenplay seem to be the ones I came up with on the spot. I also stuck to the original framework in the audio play and it didn't play very well in my head. I think this was the second screenplay I wrote, right after WELL DONE, PEAR DANUBE! so obviously I was doing it for a laugh, because that's what I do. I am constantly trying to amuse myself. It's called sef-indulgance. And it works!

So, I'm restructring it. After doing the faux-Hollywood friendly DANGERBALL and the all over the place POMPEY, I'd like to just be goofy for awhile again.

I'm sweaty, and I don't like it.

POMPEY is in its first draft. Ordinarily it would be the only draft, but since I'm working with such a tricky project, I feel the need to be scrutinizing. Rob also has a copy so I'm hoping he can help me out if I've o'erstepped my bounds. And this is no simple piece. Whatever you think you would need to pull off Shakespeare piece is exactly what you would need in this piece, ie., lots and lots of actors. The good thing is, is that it's not nearly as long as I thought it would be, reaching just under one hundred pages if I remember correctly. But then, I'm still in the editing process, so who knows what can come from that?

And then... I guess I have to ind something else to write. AAAAHHHH!What's so bloody wrong with wanting to be able to enjoy downtime? But I can't do it, man. There's only so many DVD's you can watch.

I just got off the phone with Jennifer Rudolph. Or Jennifer Caron. Someone. HI JEN! ARE YOU READING THIS!?! I'M STICKY!

Some of you might remember Jennifer Rudolph as the vampire la femme Shana in the orginal (only) production of EARL THE VAMPIRE. Some of you might not. But she is well and still thinks people are stupid. It's good to hear that nothing has truly changed.

Still waiting on that contract from Entitled to come to me. I was hoping to get this up and running a bit sooner, but oh well. I've waited this long haven't I? What's a few more weeks of complete and total nothingness?

ZOUNDS! GOD'S BODKIN! YEA VERILY! ...DUDE!

So the question inevitably becomes, what do I write after I've written the most Hollywood-friendly thing I've ever written. What comes after DANGERBALL? Simple. A blissfully arrogant stab at rewriting Shakespeare. Oh, how clever I suppose myself to be!

I mean, if Tom Stoppard can do it, why not a big stupid like me?

It's a project I started when I first got to NYC, inspired by my experience in taking part in U of M's production of MEASURE FOR MEAUSRE, being able to perform the role of Pompey, the pimp. The character kind of stuck with me, I suppose, and I guess I felt somewhat slighted in not having enough material to work with. But then, I really just wanted to be funny on stage, and didn't want to burden myself with learning a lot of lines, most of which I just didn't get, man. As productive as I seem, I can also be very lazy.

But it's really Shakespeare's fault for writing a "problem play." And it's my immense idiocy that seeks to solve it for him. So, here's what I'm doing...

I'm simply adding a different perspective to the piece, that being Pompey's. I'm also adding a beginning I thought should be there, as well as an ending. In this piece there is a plot to assassinate the Duke, and Pompey finds himself in positon of assassin, as he owes the instigator, Lucio, quite a bit of money. My first stab at this saw me adding a completely new character, but starting up again made me realize that Lucio was far more interesting to pursue as a revolutionary. And here's the kicker...

How does one write like Shakespeare, yet remain instantly decipherable? The answer? You can't. You just try to establish a rhythm as always and pretty it up a bit, being as clever as you need to be, hoping that the transitions from me to Willy won't stray to far from each other. La la la.

Yes, Sean, you are a big stupid.